


Scream and Cry for Your Superhero

by hollyharley



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Acute stress disorder, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Sexual Assault, F/M, Gen, Healing, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Michelle Jones, Michelle Jones Needs a Hug, Michelle Jones-centric, POV Michelle Jones, POV Peter Parker, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has More Pull Than the Mayor, technically acute stress disorder but that ain't a tag T_T
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:34:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26364247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollyharley/pseuds/hollyharley
Summary: What does it mean to save someone?-----Peter looked around. She could be anywhere. There weren't many people around... School had let out hours ago. Where was MJ? Had it even been MJ?He knew the answer in his gut.Yes.-----After Peter saves MJ before she's assaulted, MJ has to confront her trauma, and both Peter and MJ have to find their way to a new version of normalcy.
Relationships: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker
Comments: 6
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Content warnings and word count are at the beginning of each chapter.
> 
> If you have a specific trigger or need anything, please feel free to comment (guest commenting is on) or send me an ask on tumblr @hollypurcellwrites.
> 
> chapter 1 is peter's POV.  
> chapter 2 is MJ's POV.  
> chapter 3 is both of their POVs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> word count: 1544
> 
> cw: attempted sexual assault (knife mention, but no knife violence), police, dissociation/freeze response, cursing, screaming

Unfortunately, it wasn't the first time Peter had heard someone in trouble. He'd punched rapists in the face, wrapped up abusers in web, and assured victims they were safe until the police got there many times before. 

It was the first time, however, that he recognized the person who screamed.

_"No!"_

He'd seen her less than 20 minutes ago, while he had kissed her cheek after studying together for Decatholon. 20 minutes. 

He yelled at Karen to locate the sound and started running in its direction.

**"The sound came from three more blocks this direction."**

Peter ran as fast as he could. All he could think was _MJ, MJ, MJ._

Two blocks left. He willed for her to yell again, but he heard nothing. Nothing. Why wasn't she screaming? 

One block. 

Half a block.

 **"This was the approximated location of the scream."** Peter looked around. All that was here was a bunch of apartment buildings. She could be anywhere, in any of them. There weren't many people around... School had let out nearly four hours ago. Where was MJ? Had it even been MJ? 

He knew the answer in his gut. _Yes._

A couple walked around him. "Did you hear that scream?" The girls shook their heads and kept on walking. God, why had he let her go home alone? Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why didn't she take the train? The entrance was right in front of the school!

"MJ!" he screamed. "MJ!"

No answer. "MJ!"

It was then he heard the sound. It wasn't a word or sentence. It was a low moan, one of pure terror and dread, coming from behind a brick building. Peter ran towards it. He turned the corner. Ran forward. "Hey!"

The assailant stood. MJ was sprawled on the grass, behind some hedges. She didn't move. The man dropped something onto the grass and tried to run, but Peter shot web after web after web, entrapping the man in a cocoon. Ignoring the man's yells (he could breathe; he was fine), Peter ran to his girlfriend.

She still hadn't moved. 

"MJ!" he cried. Peter leaned over his girlfriend. Her black pants were pulled down over her thighs. _Please, no. Please, no!_ Her eyes were staring at the sky, unmoving. Peter saw what her assailant had dropped- a knife. Frantic, he looked for any wounds, but he found none. Why wasn’t she moving?! “MJ!”

That's when she blinked.

She blinked, and she breathed. She was alive. She was just... in some sort of shock. MJ was not dead. Knowing this is what allowed Peter to calm enough to notice everything: there was a growing bruise on her left cheek; her backpack had been thrown about a foot away; her pants were pulled downward, but not her underwear. He sighed in relief. At least the man hadn’t... you know.

Even the thought of _that_ wanted to make him throw up.

MJ didn't answer Peter no matter how many times he said her name. Tentatively, he touched her shoulder, "MJ?"

His touch woke her from her coma. MJ jumped and scooted away. "No!" She curled into a ball, and she growled at him, "Don't touch me!"

Peter put his hands up and knelt on the grass. "It's okay, MJ. It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you."

At that moment, they heard police sirens.

———

Normally, Peter would leave the scene when the police got there. He had never done anything illegal (he had looked that up), but it was kind of an unspoken rule that the super-guy didn’t stay and talk the cops.

He wanted to stay, but MJ had whispered to him, “Get out of here, Peter!” He’d told her it was okay, that he wanted to stay.

Then she had snarled and said, “Are you really not going to take no for an answer?”

That made Peter shut up.

He promised MJ he’d text her. She gave him a smile that looked more like a grimace, and he’d left her there, sitting on the grass all alone. He perched on a nearby building’s rooftop, and he watched MJ pull her pants up. The police arrived, an ambulance in tow. 

MJ stood, and Peter winced at how small she looked. She wrapped her arms around herself when a cop walked towards her. He began to talk to her, pointing questioningly at the man who Peter had webbed up. After they talked, the cop tried to put a hand on MJ’s back- which made her flinch. She was taken to the ambulance. More cops. They went to the assailant, who was still trapped in a bunch of webs, and started to cut him loose. 

People from the apartment building came out and started talking to the police. Peter turned his attention back to MJ. She was sitting in the ambulance. The paramedic was talking to her, and MJ was shaking her head. He knew he could listen in with Karen, but he didn’t really want to. It felt... invasive.

Ms. Jones arrived. Someone must’ve called her. She ran over to her daughter and embraced her.

MJ’s arms stayed at her side. She was a statue. Her mother tried to talk to her, but she just shrugged as if nothing was wrong. When her mother tried to talk to her again, MJ just looked out into the street with sullen eyes. 

Statements were taken. The assailant was cuffed. After the man was taken away and all the witnesses went inside, MJ got in her mother’s car and they drove away. 

Peter didn’t know what to do now. He was way too shaken up to continue patrol. The image of MJ, laying there, her hair disheveled and her pants- her _pants_ \- pulled down... it wouldn’t leave his mind. He’d never seen her with her pants down. They’d kept everything pretty PG-13, since neither of them had felt ready to do anything yet. But today, he’d seen her skin. He’s seen the blue stripes on her white underwear. He’d seen her in the grass, still. Then almost violent.

Traumatized.

His fingers shook as he took out his phone. He wanted to text MJ, but what would he say? “Hey, glad I stopped that guy from assaulting you!”   
  
He hoped she was resting, anyhow. So he didn’t text her. "Karen, can you send a text?"

**"Yes, Peter. Who would you like to send a message to?"**

He texted Tony.

_"Hi, Mr. Stark. Is there any way you can track a case for me? In Queens?"_

He sat down on the ledge of the building, watching the setting sun, when Karen alerted him of an incoming call.

”Mr. Stark?”

"Hey, Spider-Boy. I got your text, which by the way... why would you text me? You know old people like me hate texting, Kid."

Peter didn't answer. He didn't really have any energy to banter right now. Tony must've realized this because he continued. "Anyways, I gave a big donation to the NYPD when they were doing that reform program, so I've pretty much got pull in the entire city. What do you need?"

"There was- there was an attempted assault."

"Where?"

Peter told him the address. "Isn't that near Midtown, Kid?" Tony asked, alarmed. "Was this someone you know?"

"I got here in time. Spider-Man saved her. Mr. Stark, I just need to make sure it goes fine, and this guy goes away for as long as possible." His voice cracked.

"Tell me what this is about."

Peter's voice cracked. "It was MJ." 

"Your girlfriend?"

"Yeah."

"Shit. I'm sorry. Is she okay?"

"I don't know. I just want to help her somehow."

"I'll get on it. Don't worry about it. Just be there for her."

"Okay. Thanks, Mr. Stark."

The thing was, Peter didn't know how to be there for MJ. He barely knew what happened. All he knew was that his girlfriend was hurt, and was almost _really hurt_. He had saved her, but it only felt like a technicality. Just because the man didn't rape her didn't mean he didn't hurt her. It was obvious that man had terrified MJ, and Peter knew she wouldn't just be able to brush it off.

He felt ashamed for not being able to help her before she screamed. Wasn't he supposed to be a superhero? Why hadn't he been able to sense the person he loved was in trouble? Why hadn't he made sure she got safe? He was Spider-Man, for crying out loud. He had helped save the universe, but he couldn't even save his girlfriend! And now, he was helpless, because today had happened to her, and there was no taking that back. 

He went back a few blocks and got his backpack from where he'd webbed it onto a wall. He decided to text MJ. 

~~_Hey, how are you?_ ~~

~~_How are you doing?_ ~~

~~_Hey, how are you feeling?_ ~~

~~_Hey, did everything go okay?_ ~~

~~_Today sucked. Want fro yo?_ ~~

_Hey, want to talk?_

That felt right. He hit the send button then headed back home. He changed, tried to do some homework, and ate dinner with Aunt May- all while keeping his phone right by his side. When he went to sleep, he checked it one last time, but it was pointless. MJ never answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Calculations I Spent Time On For No Good Reason. You May Skip  
> in CA: CW, Peter can run faster than Black Panther who can run as fast as a zebra (35 mph), so I'm estimating mcu!Peter can run 40 mph. Midtown high is in Forest hills, Queens. a longer block i found in that area is 0.1 mile. time = distance/speed, so with these numbers (0.1/40), it would take 0.0025 hours, or 9 seconds, for Peter to run one block. If a shorter block was ~ 0.05 miles, it would take Peter 4.5 seconds.  
> Finding out how far a scream can carry is complicated, but someone online estimated 0.5 miles, which means 5 long blocks or ~10 short blocks. however, with background noise, this number is reduced. i just cut it to 2 long blocks or ~4 short blocks.  
> This is how I got to 4 short blocks between peter and MJ. this would take 18 seconds for Peter to run. Plus 4 seconds added for Peter to process what he heard and start running, this makes 22 seconds. add 3 seconds to that because there's people walking around and peter has to go around them makes 25 seconds. Karen's sentence takes about 5 seconds. ~amount of time it takes Peter to run one block with obstructions 
> 
> thank you for coming to my ted talk  
> \-------  
> thanks for reading! next chapter coming v soon!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2983
> 
> cw: past attempted r/pe, mentioned past verbal abuse (yelling)/domestic violence, mentioned parent abandonment, cursing, _The Jungle_ mention, acute stress symptoms (like ptsd)
> 
> -  
> Thank you for reading. As always, feedback is always appreciated :)
> 
> also yes this is un-betad but hopefully my love for grammar overcomes that

MJ didn't go to school for the rest of the week.

Her mother took some sick days, but MJ had known her mom couldn't stay home forever. It wasn't like her dad was here to help pay the bills, and what good what it do them if the landlord came looking for rent? She'd told her mother not to worry. She was fine. Really. And what if she got sick and really needed sick days? 

Friday morning, Ms. Jones was still hesitant about leaving her daughter. She stood at the door, telling MJ that she could "take some more days off" or "maybe even talk to the landlord." To which MJ firmly replied, "Momma. Go."

It wasn't like MJ had never been alone before. She didn't really have friends; not before joining Academic Decathlon, anyways. Once, when she was young, she had invited a school friend over. She had planned it out: Her father never got home before 7 PM, and Abigail's mom said she'd pick her daughter up at 6 after work. Perfect. It had gone well. They had played Webkinz together and eaten Doritos straight out of the bag. Seven-year-old MJ liked having a friend. It was awesome.

At least, until it was 7:15, and MJ's only friend witnessed her father get into one of his moods. His yelling was so violent, so unfamiliar for Abigail, that when her mother finally showed up ("Car troubles!"), the little girl shook as she ran out of the front door. The next day at school, Abigail made a point not to talk to her.

MJ never invited anyone over after that.

She got used to being alone. By the time her father left and she could invite someone over, she preferred it. She wouldn't be hurt that way. She watched people, and a part of her craved to know them.. but a bigger part of her knew it was safer not to. For her and for everyone else. Her isolation wasn't just a preference; it was a matter of survival.

This is why she never answered Peters texts. At least, that's what she told herself.

However, staying alone for four days was not easy. She was in a constant war with her memories. They attacked her randomly, without warning. While she watched TV, she could feel the knife against her back. When she went to the market, she was terrified of any man that walked by her. When she slept, she saw his face.

His name was Patrick. Wasn't that stupid? Patrick. Patrick, like the star fish in goddamn _Spongebob_. Patrick Davis: Hit her in the face. Threatened her with a knife. Tried to rape her. Bing bam boom, end of story. It was over, right? Peter _saved_ her, and she should feel lucky it didn't go any farther. Except days past, a week past, and she still felt horrible.

She hadn't even been raped. She was being stupid.

MJ went back to school on Monday. She'd missed four days of school, and with the number of AP classes she had, she knew she couldn't miss anymore. Just thinking about the pile of work awaiting her stressed her out. Her mom had said she could call the school to explain what had happened. MJ refused. Her mother offered to drive her. She refused that too. She was fine. 

She was lucky enough to get a seat on the train, right next to one of the doors. She hunched over- but not too much- trying to hide herself from anyone watching. She read the same sentence in her book over and over; she couldn't focus on Upton Sinclair's writing at all. Her thoughts wandered. She wondered what she had done to make him choose her. Was it her shirt? Her hair? Her figure? Had she just been a good opportunity? She had been stupid, going to the bodega across the street from Midtown instead of going straight to the station. She had allowed herself to become prey. Not again.

She would stay aware. For example, there was a man on the train with his hand in his pocket jacket. Did he have a knife? She knew he probably didn't have a knife, but what if he had a knife? MJ tensed, watching the man from the corner of her eye. She couldn't tell. Should she text Peter? She should've swallowed her pride and gotten a damn ride from her mom. Fuck, what if he had a knife? He was right in front of her, holding the bus strap. She could see the bulk in his pocket. She was going to get off on the next stop, just in case. She could call someone. Take an Uber- female driver. Get away from this man. Stay safe.

The man took his phone out of his pocket, and MJ calmed.

Soon after, she reached the her stop. She and several other high schoolers got out of the train. MJ had a clear destination now, at least. She kept looking around, making sure no one was watching, and she felt crazy. What was wrong with her? 

MJ got to the school, and quickly made her way to first period English. Once she was in her desk, her phone buzzed, and she checked it. 

**Ned Leeds  
** Hi!!!

Ned. He had smiled at her when she came into the classroom. MJ had ignored him. 

Her gaze flickered upward to see Ned waving at her. She gave him a small smile. He typed on his phone, and hers buzzed.

_We have a test today. I hope you studied._

She replied, _Great._

Luckily, she didn't have to take the test, as her four day absence had been noticed by the comp. teacher. He gave her the materials she missed and sent her into the hallway. After about ten minutes of trying to read and analyze an essay by Ayn Rand (ugh), MJ gave up and pulled out her phone. Her conversation with Ned was still on the screen.

It had been surprisingly nice to see Ned. He was a friendly face. Ned was goofy. Kind. Always nice to her. Speak of the devil; her phone buzzed. _This is hard._

She texted back, _You're going to get caught, stupid!_

 _Im not cheating, im just saying hi_ _🙄_

MJ smirked. _You're going to get academic suspension._ _What about decathlon?_ _Peter would be sad._

 _Fine,_ Ned answered. _It's good to have you back 💖💖💞💞_

MJ smiled despite herself. Talking to a friend like normal grounded her.

A few minutes later, MJ found herself looking at her texts with Peter. He had sent a couple more texts when she didn't show up to school, but she hadn't answered, so he'd stopped texting after saying, _I'll give you some space._ Along with a gif of a panda. That was the thing about Peter. He was gentle. His nature was soft, while hers was jagged. God, was she going to fuck this up? She had enough difficulty doing this whole being-a-girlfriend thing without... whatever all of this was between them.

She wanted to talk to him, but she didn't, for reasons she barely understood. For the rest of the day, she made sure to avoid places he would be: the cafeteria, his locker, his classes. 

When Peter texted her during lunch, _Hey!,_ she was sitting in a random stairwell eating a sandwich. She chose to continue reading her book instead of answering. She was sure Peter saw her as some little victim, anyways. She'd heard him screaming for her that day. She'd seen his face, twisted with concern. She didn't want to talk to Peter, and she was beginning to realize why. Even thinking about him made her think about that day, about Davis, and she didn't want to think about it.

She didn't want to think about him wrapping his arm around her outside the bodega. She didn't want to think about his knife and his threats. She didn't want to think about how he shoved her or when she yelled "No!" or when that didn't stop him. She didn't want to think about struggling in the grass, about him hitting her. She didn't want to think about how she had snarled at him, telling him _"Spider-man will be here."_ even though she didn't really know for sure. It had been more of a wish, hadn't it? She was hoping that Peter was close enough and had heard the only scream she dared to make. But the man wasn't afraid of the possibility. He'd just shoved her onto the grass again and smiled. 

_"Scream and cry for your superhero all you want. I'm getting what is mine."_

She didn't want to think about how terrifying it had been. She didn't want to think about how the fight left her body and she froze. She didn't want to think about his hands and how they pulled her pants down or touching her, and what if Peter hadn't found her? What if he'd pulled her underwear down too? What if Peter had gone home? What if she'd been raped? What if? What if? What if?

What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What i-

_**BANG!** _

MJ jumped. Fuck! Startled, she checked her surroundings; across the hall, a student had slammed a door shut.

She was safe. 

She shook her head in an attempt to clear it. _Come on, Michelle. Get it_ _together_. _No more thinking about it._ She continued to read _The Jungle_ until the bell rang. On her way to class, her phone pinged.

**🖤 Peter Parker 🖤  
** Ned said your back! Missed you at lunch ❤️️

She felt a pang of guilt, and the guilt only grew as she sat down at her desk in Calculus. She really really really liked Peter Parker. So much so, she had began to open up with Peter and Ned and the others in Decathlon. It had felt wonderfully terrifying; it was the best rollercoaster she ever been on. When she started being friends with Peter, her heart began to thaw. When they held hands, her soul blossomed.

And now, she was pushing the kindest, most amazing boy in this high school away. Impulsively, right before class started, she texted Peter back. _I'm sorry for not answering._

He texted back immediately. _Its okay. See you after school?_

Fuck, there was Dechathlon practice. She had been planning to go to Mr. Harrington after school and quit. Taking a deep breath, she answered. _Yeah._ Then she put her phone away.

———

MJ regretted her decision as soon as she got into the library. The rest of the team was already there. The only one who knew was Peter; everyone else just assumed she was sick, and she'd gone with that story throughout the day. 

"Heard you were sick. Welcome back, Michelle," Mr. Harrington said. MJ smiled awkwardly at him, trying to ignore the alarms in her head that screamed _DANGER, DANGER, DANGER!_ Mr. Harrington was harmless. 

MJ made her way to her seat next to Ned and Peter. She sat down, took her USAD binder out of her backpack. and looked through it. They were scheduled to go over mathematics and econ today. She tried to focus, but the words on the paper kept blurring. He'd touched her. He'd pulled her pants down and he'd touched her underwear and he would have hurt her if Peter hadn't been there. She should have gone straight home. She couldn't lead this team. She couldn't even defend herself.

Peter reached over and held her hand. She flinched at his touch, and he made to pull away, but she held on. She squeezed his hand, and her thoughts quieted. He was a lifeline. They didn't need to say anything. They would talk later. This was enough for now.

Still holding his hand, she stood, as she always did when starting a meeting. She wasn't sure about this, but it was too late to quit right now anyways. She just had to make it through today. "Okay guys, so today-"

"Are you contagious or something?" Flash blurted out.

MJ shook her head. "No." She saw Peter was looking down at the table. She had been attacked after a Decathlon meeting, and she knew he was thinking about it. A sudden fierceness made its way through her bloodstream. Fuck Patrick Davis. Decathlon was a goddamn achievement. She had helped the team win fucking _nationals._ She was the captain of this club, and she wasn't going to let him take it away from her.

"Moving on. Today we're going to start with geometry..."

———

It had been just like this. Academic Decathlon was rigorous, so the meetings lasted hours. By the time she had got of the school, the sun had been near setting. Peter had said his farewells and ran off to patrol. Ned and Betty had got on the subway. She had decided to go to the bodega across the street and get a snack. There was a small market near her apartment, but this way, she wouldn't have to stop after getting off the train.

Well, that wasn't really the reason she went there. The bodega owner knew a bunch of nerdy kids went to school across the street, so he kept a small bookshelf in the back, and MJ always liked to go look and see what was there. She had bought her copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ there, and while she didn't really enjoy that book, she still went back to the bookshelf. She loved the calm it gave her. She loved the new book smell. There was a sort of privacy in a part of the store no one else went to, and she enjoyed it. 

Now she never wanted to go back. 

The meeting had gone pretty well today. Peter and MJ packed up and started walking towards the front door. MJ didn't apologize again; it wasn't needed. She knew Peter understood that she needed some time. It was okay. She was happy to be back, until they went through the front doors and it all came rushing back. 

She could see the ghost of herself walking across the street. Come out of the bodega with a bag of pretzels tucked in her backpack pocket. She could see a blond man put his arm around her shoulders, press the knife against her back, and hiss threats into her ear. They walked down the street. She wanted to scream again. 

"MJ?"

She realized she was standing besides the subway entrance, staring at the bodega. A sadness was building up in her throat. Peter looked at her worryingly. "MJ, you okay?"

"Yeah." She wrapped her arms around herself. "Yeah, sorry. I guess I'll see you later?"

He shook his head. "No, I- I'm not leaving you again."

Aw. 

"Peter, don't be a loser." She gave him her best smile and swallowed, trying to get rid of any emotion she had felt. She needed to get over this, and her boyfriend feeling bad about it wasn't going to help. Even if she was terrified of being alone. Of being hurt. "It's okay. I'm... I'm okay." 

He must have heard the hesitancy in her voice because he stood firm. "It's up to you, but I really wouldn't mind."

She guessed just to her apartment was fine. Right? She nodded, and they took the train to her building. They walked side by side through the door, up the stairs, and to her apartment door. 

"This is me." She unlocked the door. Peter had that look on his face, the one where he looked like he had swallowed a rock or something, and she knew he had something to say. She knew she should be nice and invite him in, but she really just wanted to go to sleep.

She kissed his cheek and was about to close her door when Peter spoke up. "MJ?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay? Do you want to talk?"

His concerned face nearly broke her. She'd almost been raped. She was assaulted. It was horrible. It was horrific. She didn't want it to be real, but it was real, and her sadness was back; tears were threatening to spill at any moment. She needed to get Peter out of here.

She nodded. "I'm fine. I have- I have to go." She slammed the door shut and stifled back a sob. The second cry escaped her, and it was soaked in by the empty apartment. She couldn't even make it to the couch or her room; she slid down right there besides the door and started to sob. She'd almost been raped. She'd almost been raped. She'd almost been raped. 

There was a knock on the door. "MJ?" Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why hadn't he left?

"It's- It's okay, Peter. Just go!"

Another knock. "Please, MJ. Please let me in."

"I'm sorry," MJ whispered, too softly for him to hear. Another knock. 

"MJ? Please. I want to be here for you."

All the reasons, all the excuses, rushed through her head. Nothing had happened; she should be fine. But here she was, sobbing her guts out. It _hurt._ She _had_ been hurt, even if she didn't want to admit it. And she didn't want to be alone in it anymore. She just... couldn't. 

She opened the door, and Peter held her as she cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just fwi attempted r/pe is assault.  
> \---  
> sorry this took forever. i spent a lot of time reading about penal law in New York and getting angry about it, which ended up falling in the next chapter rather than this one.
> 
> thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 1814
> 
> cw: past assault, guilt, criminal investigation/penalties/lawyers and law, yelling, SVU mention , starbucks mention 
> 
> i am sooooOOOooOO sorry this took _forever_. I am normally not like this!! i got tik tok and... well, it took over my life for awhile. but i am here, i'm queer, and ive finished this fic! anyways, thanks for reading :)

MJ's crying alarmed him.

That wasn't to say Peter wasn't glad his girlfriend was opening up. He was glad she was finally opening up, at least. But she never really cried in front of him before. When she told him about her dad, she'd been stone cold. But tonight, she had cried... for nearly an hour. Peter pushed back the urge to say something (the articles online said to listen to the victim) and waited. MJ looked at the tile for a minute, then she got up and went to the kitchen. 

"Want something?" Her scratchy voice made him wince. 

He got up and sat on a stool behind the kitchen bar. "I'm okay."

She got water and leaned against the fridge. "That was embarrassing. Sorry."

"It's okay. Don't be sorry."

MJ went to the couch and sat down. "Okay." He got up and sat besides her. "Don't you have patrol?" she asked.

"Nah." Peter normally had patrol every day, but he didn't want to leave. By the way MJ shifted, he knew she knew that, but she didn't say anything. She turned on the television and found _Jeopardy._ Her favorite. 

They watched as they always did, trying to outscore each other on the answers. MJ always won, but Peter didn't mind. During the commercial break, he watched his girlfriend rub her eyes. All this pain... he had to call Mr. Stark and make sure everything was going okay. They'd have to start on a plea deal soon, right? He really hoped MJ wouldn't have to go to trial. He'd read about it. It was hard. 

The show started up again, and MJ quietly rested her head on Peter's shoulder. He decided to think about this later. For now, he needed to be here with MJ.

———

Two days later, Peter waited at the train station, Starbucks in hand. 

Both Peter and MJ rarely got Starbucks. Who were they, Flash? They got into Midtown on scholarship, not by paying tuition. Both were living on a single income; money was kept for rent, food, and school supplies. But once in a blue moon, they would splurge a little and buy drinks. Today, Peter had decided to surprise MJ. He'd left her apartment yesterday feeling drained, so he could only imagine how _she_ felt. 

Peter waited impatiently, willing MJ to arrive. He held his drink to his nose and took in a deep breathe. Mmm. Hot chocolate, the best invention of man. MJ always poked fun at him when he ordered it, but he loved hot chocolate. Why should kids be the only ones to drink it? 

Speak of the devil. He spotted the familiar sight of his girlfriend frizzy hair. She made her way up the steps, and he stepped forward, holding out her iced tea for her. MJ shook her head and walked away from him without a word. Peter's happiness faded. What was wrong?

He had to awkwardly jog around students to catch up to her. "MJ? What's wrong?"

MJ sped up, and Peter had to stop himself from trying to grab her- for one, that was probably a bad idea, and two, the drinks in his hands would fall. "MJ?"

Suddenly, she stopped. Peter realized they were near the corner of the school building, away from the students clustered near the front.

"I fucking hate you," she spat. 

"What?"

"You fucking know what!" That startled him. MJ never yelled. Never.

"I don't know what you're talking about, MJ. Did something happen?"

MJ gave him an unsettling smile. "Oh, it was not big deal. I'm totally fine with you telling a stranger about how I was almost _raped_." What? Peter didn't understand. "Tell dear Tony thanks for the lawyer though."

Shit. All Mr. Stark had said when he called again was, "Don't worry, kid. I'm taking care of it." 

MJ shoved past him. She was quickly making her way towards the front doors. He had to do something. "Wait!" he called out. She didn't stop. "MJ, please! I didn't know what to do!"

She stopped, but she didn't turn around. Peter sighed. Fuck. He fucked this up really bad. He walked up to his girlfriend and awkwardly stood near her. "I didn't know what to do, MJ."

"So you called your buddy? Did you even think that maybe I don't want the whole world to know I let this happen? My mom already knows. You know. The cops know, and a bunch of random people in the apartment building know. And now, an 'anonmyous donor' knows! Fucking Tony _Stark_ knows. I might as well announce it to the world!"

Peter couldn't believe it. She thought she "let it happen"? It wasn't her fault; she wasn't being fair. He didn't know how she should feel any sort of guilt when all of it seemed to crush him. He was the superhero, after all.

"I'm sorry. I... I should've walked you home that day, and I thought maybe I could make it up to you. I just wanted everything to be okay, and Mr. Stark's always saying he has so much pull in the city, you know? I just wanted to make it okay."

His eyes were watering, and he saw a tear creep its way down MJ's face. They were both crying, all before 8 AM. 

MJ turned to face him. "You're so stupid, Peter. This wasn't your fault. You think this was _your_ fault? You saved me, stupid."

Peter wanted to hold her hand, but he couldn't because of the drinks. Instead, he touched her arm with his cup. "You think it's your fault."

MJ looked at the ground.

"I'm sorry for telling Mr. Stark. I'm so sorry."

She sighed. "Thanks. It was a dumb move. But we couldn't afford a lawyer that good anyway, so I got something out of it."

MJ gave him a small smile and grabbed her tea out of his hand. She took a drink and her smile grew. "Okay, now I forgive you for real."

\---

Menancing in the second degree. 

Assault in the third degree.

That's what he got.

There was no dramatic trial. No jury. No Olivia Benson holding her hand.

She guessed Patrick Davis had some sort of brain. The lawyer- Sasha, she insisted MJ call her- had assured MJ and her mother he'd probably plea guilty, and he did. There was irrefutable evidence. The convivence store had a camera outside which caught him pressing a knife against her back. Two tenants in the apartment building recorded the whole thing, including MJ's scream and him pulling her pants down. Plenty of people inside had been

The knife was found on the ground with his DNA. Overall, it was a pretty good case, which is why he took the plea deal instead of going to trial.

He'd get a year in jail, one year probation. The full year for menancing- the max- and one year probation instead of three. "It's part of dealing," Sasha said. "We can't give the max for everything." MJ's mom was angry. MJ was just relieved. She didn't want to talk about it in front a bunch of strangers; she was still trying to open up to Peter and her mom.

And at some point, a therapist. Paying the copay every week for therapy would be too expensive, so for now, she was on the university's psych waitlist. Hopefully a spot would open up soon. But not too soon. 

Opening up was hard. It felt like taking a pair of plyers and sticking them down her throat, hoping to pull out her feelings and memories before she hurt herself. It was delicate. Complicated. And she didn't have the training of a surgeon; all she had to trust were herself... which was hard, since she'd already had difficulty opening up to others before all of this. Speaking about it- even thinking about it- was painful. Nevertheless, she knew it wouldn't help to avoid it. MJ had decided: hiding wasn't a part of her. She always told the truth. She was blunt, no matter who it would hurt. And Davis wouldn't take that, or any part of her personality, away from her. Not if she could help it. It was painful, yes, but so was growth.

\---

It was their last practice before the district competition.

MJ knew they were prepared. She'd been grilling the team on every single subject for months. They were ready. Tomorrow, they'd leave at dawn. The school bus would drive to Manhattan, and Midtown High would compete against all the schools in New York. USAD wasn't easy, but her team was good. They were _real_ good. They'd put hundreds of hours into this. For the past month, MJ had made them practice. Every. Single. Day. They were definitely ready.

"See you tomorrow, babe." Peter quickly kissed her on the cheek, and she smirked.

"Don't be late." 

"I won't! Bye!" He ran off to say goodbye to his aunt, who had nightshift starting in an hour. Ned had left with Betty. She was alone.

As MJ walked towards the station, she realized something: she hadn't thought about what happened all day. It had been close to three months since she was assaulted- yes, it was still assault if he didn't rape her- and this was the longest she had gone without thinking about him. She had been so consumed with Decathlon that Patrick Davis had just... slipped her mind. 

Could she have imagine not thinking about him two and a half months ago, when she was so frightened any little noise would make her jump? No. But it was true. Time had helped. Her persistence to not let it own her had help. Therapy was starting to help. The truth was she wouldn't be the same person again. Even with the jail time and the protection order she got, even with justice served, what had happened was a trauma, and she could never forget it. Just last week, when Peter and her were kissing, he touched her thigh, and it made her freak out. Tears and everything. She wasn't perfect, but that was okay. She was Michelle Freaking Jones, and she would always survive. 

MJ passed the station and stood in front of the crosswalk. Tomorrow, she would lead her classmates to victory. But first, she had to do something by herself.

Taking a deep breath, she crossed the street. The last time she had been in this convenience store, a stranger had held a knife to her back, and she had nearly been raped. He had threatened her and pulled her pants down. In those moments, she had had no control. But today was not then. The future was not her past. She controlled now.

And right now, she decided to open the convenience store door and step inside. MJ smiled.

She saw some new books on the book shelf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *mj standing away from peter like this is a friggin anime or somethin*: >:(  
> Thank you for reading, lovely people!!!!!!!  
> -  
>  **Resources**
> 
> [Hotlines, crisis centers, and other resources organized by location. ](https://pandys.org/forums/index.php?/forum/42-public-resources/)
> 
> [ Rape Crisis Information Pathfinder](http://www.ibiblio.org/rcip/internl.html)
> 
> For more information and resources, visit the national sexual assault hotline at [ RAINN.org](https://www.rainn.org/)

**Author's Note:**

> If you're into reading angst/cathartic overcoming (C) SA fanfic, my works are ~full of that~
> 
> (i think those fics are better than this one tbh but)
> 
> _Thank you for reading!!! Fanfic communities rock :)_


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